Yo Mama Jokes:

Yo mama so fat her clothes come in three different sizes large, extra-large, and oh my god its coming!

Yo mama's so fat that when she fell in love she broke it

Yo mama's so ugly when I took her to the zoo they said, "Thanks for bringing' her back!"

Yo mama's so cheap; she's on the dollar menu.

Yo mama's so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama's so ugly, American express left home without her

Yo mama's so fat, she got Baptized at sea world

Yo mama's is so stupid when she went to Walgreen's she said "hey, these walls isn't green

Yo mama's is so ugly that she entered in the ugly contest they said, "no professionals"

Yo mama's is so old, when god said let there be light she flipped the switch

Yo mama's is so stupid she thought Fruit Punch was a Gay Boxer

Yo mama's is so fat, she wore guess jeans and the answer popped out

Yo mama's so stupid she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

Yo mama's so fat she has more rolls then the towns bakery

yo mama's so fat, the only way to get her out of a telephone booth is to grease her thighs and throw a Twinkie in the street

Yo mama's is so fat she drives a spandex car

Yo mama's so stupid she took a spoon to the super bowl

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her to take out the trash and she moved!

Yo mama's is so fat that when god said," Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ass out the way first!

Yo mama's so fat she tripped over wal-mart, stumbled over k-mart, and landed on target.

Yo mama's so ugly your dad takes her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye

Yo mama's so dumb she brought lipstick to a make-up test

Yo mama's so poor when I asked her why she was kickin that tin can across the street she said she was moving

Yo mama's so old when I told her to act her age, she died

Yo mama's so fat that when we went out to the restaurant she looked at the menu and said sounds good

Yo mama's so fat, she put on a Malcolm X T-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on her

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out.

Yo mama's so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on the scales

Yo mama's so fat, she wears two watches -- one for each time zone!

Yo mama's so fat she needs one barstool for each butt cheek

Yo mama's so dumb, that the Psychic Friends only charge her half price to read her mind!

Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't lift her spirits!

Yo mum's so small she's got to slam dunk her bus fair

Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler next to her bed to see how long she sleeps!

Yo mama's so fat when she walked into the all-you-can-eat buffet they had to install speed bumps

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample!

Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says, "To Be Continued..."

Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says, "One at a time please"

Yo mama's so fat she sweats mayonnaise!

Yo mama's so hairy, she could be sold as a Chia pet

Yo mama's so big, her belly button has an echo

Yo mama's so stupid that she thought that babies came from the infantry

Yo mama's so fat, when I swerved to avoid her in the street I ran outta gas

Yo mama's so stupid she sold her car to buy petrol

Yo mama's so fat, she held up her stockings with hula-hoops

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon

Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed up a tree talking about branch management

Yo mama's so fat, she wore a red sweater and all of the kids pointed at her and said, "Kool-Aid Man!!!!".

Yo mama's so fat, she went outside in a yellow raincoat and people yelled taxi.

Yo mama's so old, she got her drivers license on a dinosaur

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears her "B.V.D."s they spell boulevard!

Yo mama's so fat, she's got more nooks and crannies than an English Muffin

Yo mama's so fat, that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang

Yo mama's so fat that this town really ISN'T big enough for the both of us

Yo mama's so fat, she has smaller fat women orbiting around her!

Yo mama's so poor, she stands outside Kentucky fried chicken and licks other peoples fingers!

Yo mama's so fat, Christopher Columbus claimed her as the new world

Yo mama's so fat, she's got more Chins than a Chinese phone book

Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up

Yo mama's so stupid, she had your brother thrown in rehab, cause he was Hooked on Phonics

Yo mama's breath is so foul, she uses a lynx as a breath freshener

Yo mama's so fat, they had to let out the shower curtain

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm. One for each time zone

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu

Yo mama's so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party

Yo mama's so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters

Yo mama's belt size is the titled the "Equator"

Yo mama's so fat, her baby pictures were taken by satellite

Yo mama so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border

Yo mama's so stupid, when she locked herself in the bathroom, she peed in her pants

Yo mama's so old, she owes Jesus 3 bucks

Yo mama's so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone

Yo mama's so stupid she used a real mouse to use the computer.

Yo mama's so old she can't tell her family from enemies.

Yo mama's so stupid she drove all the way to New Mexico with the handbrake on.

Yo mama's so stupid she combs the hair in her nose and not on her head.

Yo mama's so stupid she bought a used ring that has never been worn.

Yo mama so old her birthdate is expired.

Yo mama's such a loser she uses Microsoft Word to write a love letter

Yo mama's such a loser she sends jokes to this site about herself.

Yo mama's so old when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change radio stations

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made it four quarters

Yo mama's so old her birthday expired

Yo mama's so old when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing

Yo mama's so old she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block

Yo mama's so old Jurassic Park brought back memories

Yo mama's so old her memory is in black and white

Yo mama's so old I told her to act her age she died

Yo mama's so old the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the under 17 not admitted sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear 'Caution! Wide Turn'

 

"Police: what were you doing saturday night? / suspect: yo mamma"

Yo mamma so dumb that if she spoke her mind she would be speechless.

Yo mamma is so fat the last time she saw her phone number was on a weight scale.

Yo mamma so fat that her driver’s license picture say "picture continued on other side"

Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

 

***************Sorry if any yo mama jokes are repeated below***************

 

Fat Mama:

Yo Mama so fat she stepped on a scale and it showed her phone number.

Yo Mama so fat she went in the ocean and whales started singing “We Are Family, even though you’re fatter than me”.

Yo Mama so fat she stepped on a scale and it said “To Be Continued.”

Yo Mama so fat she put on a yellow jacket and people yelled “Taxi!”

Yo Mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out.

Yo Mama so fat I drove around her and ran out of gas twice.

Yo Mama so fat her blood type is Ragu.

Yo Mama so fat people run around her for exercise.

Yo Mama so fat the last place she saw infinity was on the scale.

Yo Mama so fat when she jumps you feel the vibration on the other side of the earth.

Yo Mama so fat when she jumped in the ocean all the water came out.

Yo Mama so fat I walked around her twice and got lost.

Yo Mama so fat when she got through turning around they threw her a “welcome back” party.

Yo Mama so fat when she put on a red sweater, the kids yelled “Kool-Aid Man!”

Yo Mama so fat she makes Fat Albert jealous.

 

Stupid Mama:

Yo Mama so stupid she stared at an orange juice carton because it said “Concentrate”.

Yo Mama so stupid she got run over by a parked car.

Yo Mama so stupid she called the operator for her own phone number.

Yo Mama so stupid she sold her car for gas money.

Yo Mama so stupid she stole a free sample.

Yo Mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo Mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

Yo Mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund.

Yo Mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo Mama so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.

Yo Mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

Yo Mama so stupid she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo Mama so stupid she thinks Fruit Punch is a boxer.

Yo Mama so stupid she climbed over a glass wall just to see what is on the other side.

Yo Mama so stupid she put money in a parking meter and waited for a gumball.

Yo Mama so stupid she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

Yo Mama so stupid she sold the house to pay the rent.

Yo Mama so stupid she sucked on a battery and said “I got the power”.

Yo Mama so stupid she couldn’t even add 1 + 1.

 

 

Poor Mama:

Yo Mama so poor when someone stepped on her cigarette she said, “No, my heater!”

Yo Mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention.

Yo Mama so poor she wrestled a squirrel for a peanut.

 

Ugly Mama:

Yo Mama so ugly she made the Grudge scream.

Yo Mama so ugly when she looks in the mirror her reflection screams.

Yo Mama so ugly she went to an ugly contest and they said “Sorry, No Pros”.

Yo Mama so ugly not even goldfish smile back.

Yo Mama so ugly Bob the Builder said “I can’t fix that.”

Yo Mama so ugly people pay so they don’t have to see her.

Yo Mama so ugly hotel managers use her picture to keep rats out.

Yo Mama so ugly she makes blind kids cry.

Yo Mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo Mama so ugly she stuck her head out the window and got a ticket for littering.

Yo Mama so ugly when she tried to take a bath the water jumped out.

Yo Mama so ugly when her dog looked at her, he/she ran away.

Yo Mama so ugly she makes onions cry.

Yo Mama so ugly her dad has to take her to work with him just so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

 

Old Mama:

Yo Mama so old God is in her yearbook.

Yo Mama so old when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo Mama so old I asked her to act her age and she died.

Yo Mama so old she farts and dust comes out.

Yo Mama so old Moses was her best friend as a kid.

Yo Mama so old she rode a dinosaur to school.

 

Hairy Mama:

Yo Mama so hairy she shaves with a weed hacker.

Yo Mama so hairy she speaks Wookie.

Yo Mama so hairy I have to mow her weekly.

Yo Mama so hairy a few hikers mistaken her for Bigfoot.

 

Skinny Mama:

Yo Mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio.

Yo Mama so skinny she uses chapstick for deodorant.

Yo Mama so skinny I can blindfold her with dental floss.

 

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